This is the first in a series of transcripts, taken from live Facebook videos, between Hannah (writer and Spirit Messenger) and her dead brother, Christian.
All the videos, and audio recordings, can be found on her website: https://www.hannahvelten.online/loss-is-an-illusion and the Facebook community, where the live videos are recorded, is here: https://www.facebook.com/searchforchrisvelten
This film was recorded on 27th November 2018.
The following transcripts have been slightly edited in Hannah’s parts to aid clarity — no words from Spirit have been altered.
I’m going to light candles as usual… try not to burn myself!
Lighting one for me to start with, as usual. One for whoever’s going to join us in the community, whether you’re watching this live, or on playback. And one for Spirit; I guess it will be Christian today, but it could be anybody with him.
Good morning. My name is Hannah Velten and I’m a writer and Spirit Messenger. This morning I’m going to be joined by my brother, Christian, who’s in Spirit. He definitely wants to be more centre stage today. I have to admit to feeling a bit nervous — I don’t usually, but I don’t know what’s going to come out today!
I think what I’m going to do, is just speak whatever Christian tells me — I’ll close my eyes when he’s ’speaking’ so you can tell it’s him. I don’t know what he’s going to say. But I do trust that whatever will come out will be helpful for people watching.
Some of you might be just watching because you’re interested to see what’s going on. Some of you might be watching to try and get some comfort, especially if you’ve lost a loved one.
I trust that whatever comes will be helpful, loving, and just what people need to know. Some of it might be his experience in Africa, his death. He was in limbo for 15 years — I got him home — and now he’s moved up into where he should have been all along in Spirit. But he’s definitely changed; there’s been a process that he’s been through… we’ll just see what happens.
[Hannah settles back in her chair, closes her eyes, and connects with Christian]
“Hello everybody. My name is Christian Velten [sudden emotion in Hannah], better known as Chris, Chrissy, Relts, Velts. People call me lots of things. I’m feeling very emotional being able to talk to you. I didn’t think I would be this emotional, but I am.
It’s so brilliant that Hannah’s able to do this for me, and for you all. I’m sure we’re going to be providing a lot of healing and growth for people after they have loss: that doesn’t necessarily mean death of a loved one, but if you’re lost in life, like I was a lot of the time. I was always looking for the answers to the big questions, but they always evaded me in life, but now I have the opportunity to pass on what I know — now.
It’s gonna be fun. It’s gonna be entertaining. You gotta love Hannah here for doing this. She’s very brave. [Hannah emotional]
Okay, that’s the preamble over. Sorry, Hannah, for making your eye make-up run!
That’s okay, Christian.
She’s just called me Christian. She calls me Christian, rather than Chris (like she used to do) because there’s another Chris in the family — it’s easier for Hannah to now call me Christian. Which I don’t mind in the least, because [laughing] it gives me a bit of gravitas!
Okay, so the last time I was in front of a camera (and this will make Hannah cry, too), was February 2003 and I was doing my showreel for my trip to Africa. It was going so well, it was so exciting. Oh my God, when I look at myself now, in front of that camera, it [Hannah emotional] breaks my heart a little.
I was so full of dreams, action, and passion. I wanted to travel. I wanted to create a stage for myself. [Hannah’s hands start moving all over the place] And my hands are going to start moving all over the place: if you look at the video, you’ll see this excited little boy. [Hannah emotional]
What I didn’t know before I went on that trip was how hard it would be. I researched the arse off this trip. I thought, in my 28yr old state, that I knew what was going to go on. I thought I got everything covered. I guess that’s the hilarity of youth.
Hannah knows, and actually everyone who knew me at the time, knew how hard I worked for this trip: the itineraries, the maps, the languages. I was going to go through 5/6/7 different countries and I needed to have all the visas. I needed to know how to interact with others; what was considered polite, so I would stay safe.
Mungo Park, who I was following in the footsteps of, he came to a bad end and he had lots of troubles on the way. So I learnt from him; from his mistakes. It’s very important, in life, to learn from others’ mistakes, so you don’t make the same. And that’s part of the reason that Hannah and I are doing this, in that you’ll learn from what we did, and not make the same mistakes as we did.
We’ve both been on a very steep learning curve: Hannah in the physical, coping with the loss of a brother, but my God, she’s done an amazing job. She’s strengthened herself, and she brought me home and I [Hannah emotional] can’t be more grateful to her.
I love you so much, Hannah.
And I wish I was there to give you a hug. But the best I can do is… feel it. And I know you feel my hugs… not so much now, because I’ve moved from being right next to you.
I’ve moved to a place in your heart where I’m always here. I’m always with you now, and that’s why you have this feeling in your tummy of wholeness, now. You feel at peace and that’s because I’ve moved into your heart space and I’m no longer outside of you. And that’s the ideal place for everybody in Spirit to be. It’s to be in the hearts of their loved ones.
Part of what we’re going to teach (not in this video) is how, in the physical, to get your loved one into your heart, so you have that close connection all the time.
[Break to check that everyone can hear me] Bloody make-up running everywhere. To be honest, I have no idea where we are, I’m just following him. [Having a few gulps of tea]
A lot of the work we’re going to do is about bringing loved ones into your hearts, in the physical. So what can I tell you now?
I don’t want to go into a lot of detail about what went on in Africa on camera; that’s between me and Hannah at the moment. But aged 28, I thought I knew everything. But I obviously didn’t.
As in all my life, I got myself into scrapes, like when I went parachuting with the cadets at school and I nearly crash-landed. My parachute wouldn’t open and I, upside down and my legs caught in the strings,… and I thought, then, that I was going to die. That was the closest I’d ever been to death. And I told Hannah that my life flashed past my eyes, rapidly, and I really thought I was going to die. I said goodbye to everybody in my head, but it wasn’t my time to go, then. I’d already had quite a few scrapes before then, but I still wasn’t ready to go. And in my head I heard, “Unwrap your legs, and get yourself down to earth. It’s not your time.”
That feeling I had, when I was told to save myself, I chased that voice for the rest of my life. It was the most surreal experience of my life, and in a lot of ways I didn’t actually know that then. I felt in a way that I’d been saved. But the trouble is by being saved, you feel that you need to make something of your life. You feel you were saved for a reason and I think I spent the rest of my life, if not consciously, subconsciously, trying to find the reason why I’d been saved and what I was supposed to do with my life. I think this happens with many survivors.
In a way, Hannah is a survivor, which has shaped her commitment to now do something positive with her life, from the trauma that she’s been through and come out the other side.
It seems to me there are lots of people in this community who have been through trauma and tragedy and they’ve seen something in Hannah, or they’ve met Hannah, or met myself, in life, and we’re all here now as a community to help each other. To heal and grow past whatever trauma we hold on to, as many of us are still holding onto that trauma — me included.
Hannah doesn’t have this trauma anymore; she has worked her way through it, so you need to look to her to help you if you feel like you’re a survivor of trauma, but maybe only partly healed.
I can see there are tears in lots of people’s eyes here. You have to also know that when Hannah and I are together, it creates a big community in Spirit and the physical. It’s like we collect a lot of people together. It’s a very powerful place to be. It’s a very healing place to be. It’s a very loving place to be.
Don’t be scared if you start to feel warmth in your body. Just relax into that warmth, and welcome it. Some of you might be feeling chills. Some of you might be feeling like a blanket has been put round your shoulders. Hannah is feeling cold at the moment.
Just relax into the warmth, or whatever feeling you’ve got.
And know that there’s a higher presence here. Hannah doesn’t like the word ‘God’, but that’s exactly who it is. God is unconditional love. That’s as clear as it needs to be. The way I communicate with Hannah is through unconditional love. In Spirit, you gain unconditional love when you pass over. That’s our natural state to be in.
In Spirit, that is all we ever want to give to you in the physical: unconditional love. It holds no conditions, [Hannah laughs] as the name suggests. We are all at peace. We are all held in this cradle of unconditional love. God is that cradle.
Right, I’m going to have to start calling God, ‘The Big One’ because Hannah’s reacting to the name. It’s a divisive name. You might call him (and it is a him) ‘Source’, ‘Universe’, ‘Light of the World’, whatever you want to call him. But I don’t want this to turn people off, so I’ll stop talking about that.
All you need to know is that there is a universal love in Spirit and deep within YOU in the physical.
You are born with this unconditional love. But life’s experiences cloud this unconditional love between other people: family, friends, people in authority, religion, events that happen to you. But to live the best life possible, which Hannah’s now doing, you need to get rid of all the gunk/layers which cover the unconditional love in your heart.
The book which we’ve written together is to help you rediscover that unconditional love, which is all deep within you. It is your natural state. It is how you should be living life.
If you live in unconditional love, as Hannah will tell you, you have nothing to fear in life. Everything in life is done FOR you, not TO you (and Hannah says that a lot). As you move into unconditional love, your trust and faith become concrete and it’s in that state where miracles happen, magic happens. This is the state which is difficult to reach, there is no denying that (and Hannah will tell you that). It’s a hard journey, but definitely worth it.
For those of you who are looking to connect with Spirit (like Hannah does), you have to have this unconditional love in your heart, because the communication with Spirit happens within the heart.
Love is all you need.
It sounds [Hannah laughing] so simple, but it’s hard.
But take inspiration from my sister. If you’d seen what she was like in 2016 (and many of you did see her) when the search for me could go no further and she felt she’d failed; if you’d met her then, she is nothing like that now. She’s completely regenerated. She won’t preach to you, but we will try and teach you. That is now our mission.
I’m sad that I didn’t have the opportunity to do this mission with Hannah with me, alive, but if I was in the physical now, Hannah wouldn’t be able to rely on me to be always there. I’d be off, always travelling. Even if I’d come back alive, I can guarantee you I wouldn’t be sitting here with Hannah, teaching. I was a much crappier brother than that. I would have left her again, and again, and again. So it’s better that I’m in Spirit and that was what we chose before we birthed.
Hannah knows this already.
We choose our parents. They give us what we need in life: good and bad. And Hannah always knew that she would keep losing me. [Hannah very emotional] And that’s why we held onto each other so closely in childhood, because we knew we’d be separated.
It was done gradually, but we always knew it would be this way in the end. Or, Hannah does now. I didn’t know any of this, in the physical. I wish I had known… but actually that’s a silly thing to say, because if I’d known what was going to happen, my life would have been stunted: I would not have lived as I wanted to live.
Everything in life happens for a reason. Everything in life happens at the right time. When you’re ready, the teacher appears. These are sayings you’ve probably heard lots of times, from a lot of different sources. But they’re all true.
Now, I want to go back to something I covered earlier.
‘The Big One’.
Hannah’s got a real resistance to speaking about ‘God’, so I’m going to… It’s okay, Hannah, you can.
He’s been unjustly harangued. The big question, Why?
Why does this happen? Why did this happen to me?
If there is a God, why did this happen to me?
If there is a God, why do bad things happen in this world?
A few years ago, Hannah sat in church at an All Souls’ congregation in her local church. She sat at the back, hoping to sit in [Hannah emotional] peace, contemplating me. But it wasn’t to be. She was called up by Reverend Lucy to sit in the choir stalls with everybody else; she couldn’t resist. She sat there for the hour just in tears, like she is now. But I was there with her… [Hannah emotional] holding her hand, trying to comfort her. But she didn’t realise I was there: she thought she was alone.
And I bring this up now, not to make her cry, but to show you that even if you think you’re alone, you’re never alone. Even if you can’t feel others around you, you have to trust that Spirit is always very close.
I was also very close to Hannah at her wedding, which we’ve already talked about. I was so ashamed not to be there. I wanted to make a speech, but there was no way I could.
I was also there at my 40th birthday party, when everyone stood in a circle. But, again, I couldn’t connect with anyone there. They were all in denial at that point.
Denial. It’s difficult when someone goes missing. It’s easy to stay in denial about a death, because you have no news. Hope flickers. But as we’ve said in the ebook*, hope keeps you from moving into unconditional love. Hope keeps you in fear. It stops you moving forward.
Hope, knowing and then faith, is what moves you forward. Hope keeps you stuck. Hope kept me stuck in the physical. I was always hoping I would find my purpose; find the reason for me being here, or there.
In the end, I became a story teller. I was telling the story of the people I met along the way: such beautiful people I met… but also a bad element, which I don’t need to go into now.
I say I became a story teller because ultimately that is how I’ll be remembered in that physical life, because Hannah, as she knows, is going to be the vehicle (he’s holding my hands now, by the way) for telling my story. And for that, she’s going to need to travel. She knows all of this.
The time is coming when this will become a reality. A lot of water has passed under the bridge and it’s coming to be the right time for Hannah to return to my… death… in the water.
In Spirit… I need to back up a bit.
I never realised I was dead in the water. I was unconscious when it happened. I never felt a thing. And that’s why I didn’t know I was dead. I was at peace, almost floating. I could go where I wanted. I had a freedom I never knew existed before. But there was something I couldn’t explain: I could go through borders without visas, I didn’t need to eat or drink, people didn’t look me in the eye.
When I look back now, it was obvious I was dead… but I was okay. I didn’t feel any pain, I was comfortable, I was just carrying on my journey.
I can’t explain at the moment how I was able to be with Hannah in that church, and at her wedding and at the circle at the party — there are things I still don’t understand (I’ll pass on to Hannah when I know more).
But I latched into another’s body in Africa to be able to… survive, is the only word I can think of. People always ask, why was I not found. Why was the truth not found? There were lots of searches for me, I’m now told. Why was I never found?
The honest truth is that it would have served no great purpose for me to be found then… dead. I would have just been a dead brother, a dead son, a dead friend. Everyone would have grieved in their own way, and then moved on with their life as best they could. But that was never the purpose of my death, or my story towards my death.
The purpose was for Hannah to move through life, to have her family. To experience being a writer. To experience speaking in public. All the things she’s done over the years; it’s all, Hannah.
And thank God, she took every opportunity she was given: never shied away from opportunities and DOING. All the people she met along the way, to help her, were all there for this purpose. She doesn’t know how special she is.
She healed and regenerated herself from loss, using all the guidance around her, and now WE are in the position to use everything that Hannah’s learnt, to be able to bring purpose to my death and missing status for 15 years.
Hannah understands this now, but she’s resented it for many years. We’ve had to… no, not we (as I’ve played no part, knowingly)… but others in Spirit have been leading her; in many cases, using other people to keep her in a state of hope, to bring her to the point where this purpose is now being able to be fulfilled.
The past is quite a murky place for me, in the physical, but Hannah’s going to help me tell my story and shed light on what has happened by telling you my story, and her’s. Hannah is going to… provide healing through story.
This will be in writing, film, speaking: story as therapy. She’s going to have a film crew (which I never had, stupidly).
I have to say here a huge apology to everybody who was affected by my disappearance, especially to my friends, three in particular: S, V, B. You’ll know who you three are. For the personal distress it caused you, and the (I’m ashamed to say) financial and emotional imbalance it caused in you. I can only say now how truly sorry I am.
I never meant for anything like this to happen. I hope you can find it in your hearts to understand me and to forgive me. And actually, that goes to anybody who knew me in the physical.
I could be a selfish bugger. Good fun, a laugh, a good-time-guy, but I could also be quite arrogant, bolshy, paranoid, and keep myself to myself emotionally. I was quite a complex character.
I can see that now.
I can see people’s frustration with me sometimes. I can see people’s anger with me for going on this stupid **** trip.
Lots of people tried to warn me, before I left, that they had a feeling that things weren’t going to be good for me. But me being Chris, Chrissy, Crizzy, Relts, Velts, just dismissed it all. I’m truly sorry for that.
But you do know that it was never the plan for me to stay at home… and rot. The plan was for me to always be travelling, to always be exploring, to always be building a story for Hannah and myself to later tell. It’s all been about the story… which Hannah’s going to uncover and tell.
Ahhh, I feel better for having been able to give my apologies to people, Hannah. You don’t know what a weight it is off my mind. Thank you for doing that [Hannah emotional].
My hope is that all those who need support through loss, however long ago it was, finds some peace through these videos and through Hannah’s words, and our words.
Always know that Spirit is there unconditionally for you: ready to offer guidance, support, loving embraces. All you need to do is ask.
But that connection, in your heart, that unconditional love is the way to have the connection that Hannah and I have. Everyone can do it. It’s hard work to be able to have unconditional love in your hearts, but it’s the best way to live, and BE, and DO.
Love is all you need.
This is the lesson I was running after in physical life, but never realised. I was always chasing. Always chasing after something. The answers. But, as Hannah will tell you, the more you chase after something and try and force things to happen, the more they elude you.
It’s only when you accept, release emotions, and forgive, and become a lighthouse with love in your heart… that’s when life begins.
There’s nothing more to say at the moment, but I think we’ve covered a lot today. If you have any questions, and I know you do, but Hannah with her eyes closed can’t see them [laughs]…
Okay, I’m going to open my eyes. I’m going to see if anyone’s got any questions…
Questions will come. If you have questions, do email me, do text me, do message me, do put comments on the [Hannah’s confused & tired]… post. But I think that’s all we have to say today. I hope you got what you needed from it.
He says thank you very much for listening, and for being here.
I can’t wait to do another one.
Lots of love to you all [blows a kiss]. Thank you. Bye bye.
*as of 02/08/19, the ebook has been updated and offered as a paperback, costing £9.99, plus p&p.