As a grief coach, I felt a pressure to post about the death of our Queen yesterday. But I didn’t. Do you know why? Because I thought, what would She do?
In times of change and chaos, when the mix of endings and beginnings is in flux, the best policy is to sit with the feelings. Let them flow up and around you. Not be influenced by those in the media, or those with a paid-for opinion or those reflecting the collective knee-jerk response of fear.
This is what She would do: She’d find balance. She would listen.
I say ‘She’, and I don’t mean this term in disrespect. Quite the opposite. Our Queen was the collective Matriarch, The Grandmother, The Mother. Universally recognised roles and traits.
And that’s why, I believe, her transition will be effecting us all, for what she represented, and also depending on our connection with our own grandmothers and mothers: our ancestors. They are whispering to us at this time. Can you hear them?
[My mother actually handed me my paternal grandmother’s watch as I left after lunch last Sunday. As they ready themselves to leave the home which saw all of Chris’ missing years, the watch passed onto my wrist. Indeed, the whisper of ‘Granny’, who helped me hugely through my grief, from her Spirit perspective]
I do feel our Queen has returned Home and is at peace. Escorted by her white horses, signifying freedom, grace, travel. She leaves behind a rainbow above the castle.
We might be feeling bereft. A bit unsteady. Discombobulated. It’s all we’ve ever known. Perhaps sadness for our own mothers and grandmothers who have also returned Home: the longing for re-connection (that I so keenly felt for my brother, Chris). Or we might not think we care.
What made me ‘gulp’ on first hearing the news was the recognition of it being the end of the Second Elizabethan era. That’s huge. Change is here. And we have a decision to make.
What do we allow into our minds and our bodies?
What do we choose to release from our minds and our bodies?
What would She do?
What did she do?
At 27, Elizabeth became our Queen. Her beloved father had died suddenly and while she was away from him, in Kenya (incidentally, where I was led to believe Chris was, still alive, in 2016). She was never meant to be on the throne — due to another’s action she leapt to the front of the line. Grief must have been tempered by the new husband at her side; she had already been given the rock who would steady her all her years, and she had her Faith.
Death transformed her. She had to step into change, into chaos — she was courageous. She had to step into the darkness and become a light for so many — not just in this country but around the world. Suddenly the most recognised woman on the planet. Having to tread a fine line between duty, family and being in Service to God, to Love.
This came through my writing this morning (not sure from where):
“We knew it was coming, but it’s still a shock,” the words on many lips. She was extraordinary, but then again, not. She just got on with life, like we all do. Yes, she had the money and certain privileges, but she was the same as you and me. She loved her husband and her family. She was loyal to those who kept her confidences. She reached out for help when she needed. She felt unsure. She felt terrified. She experienced sudden loss.
She carried her burdens, and her griefs, but what set her apart and makes her a ‘possibility model’ is that we was transformed by pain. She chose (or did she have no choice?) to sit on that throne and utterly dictate what her body told her. What God gave her. She felt the feels and responded with heart and a laugh or a heart-felt touch. Her eyes sparkled with the light inside her. She trusted that God had her; she was not alone in this responsibility. She was here to lead all the nations under, and around, her crown. It pained her the change she sensed, but she adjusted as she always did. She was a creatrix who flowed on the river of Love she felt beneath her feet.”
So, as we all sense the change, the loss, the endings, let the Love carry you. Shine brightly: we can all re-connect and attract Love if that’s what we choose. Be Queenly, with child-like wonder. And allow those white horses to be by your side as you travel, freely.
In memory of HRH Elizabeth II (1926–2022)