My Letter Of A Lifetime

However, I began to have very lucid dreams during and after the social media search. I would feel my body fly to meet Christian. He was always in a bad way, nearly dead, being cared for by grandmotherly figures, or latterly he was a tramp, wandering around being ignored by everyone.

It was then that he told me he wasn’t sure whether I really wanted him to come home. Did I really love him? Did he trust that I wanted him back in my life?

I was complete: two halves becoming one.

When I burst into tears, gulping for air as my world imploded into pain and grief, my 7yr old daughter (Chris’ only niece) said, “It’s Uncle Christian, isn’t it, Mummy? He’s not coming home is he.” She’d said what couldn’t be fathomed, or spoken aloud. “Probably not,” I said.

But why had all this happened? What was the reason?

He told me he’d been helped by a grandmother figure, and her son, when he was ill and they seemed to travel with him, but he was often alone on his journey, although he was perfectly happy. He also told me he couldn’t believe he’d been dead for 15 years, without realising.

Even though I was in tears as I wrote, I could feel the love flowing, the comfort, and the reassurance being gifted to me. There was a lot of information in the letter for me, our parents, my children, my husband and for Chris’ friends — all designed to bring peace and closure to the search for him.

All the work I’d done on myself had created access to the non-physical realms and there were queues forming to ‘speak’ with me. But I would have to take care and only speak to the highest entities, bringing message of love and hope — to reignite people’s fires when they had never been lit, were on the wane, or needed refuelling.

We have only experienced ourselves communicating because I worked to clear my energies, healed myself and then worked on the energies between us — forgiveness and understanding played a huge part in turning our damaged love (mainly broken trust) into unconditional love. But that’s for another blog, perhaps!

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